A Call to Ravers

On Sunday, my dream of attending Electric Zoo festival in NYC this year was shattered when the final day, the one and only day I had a ticket for, was canceled due to two untimely deaths, and other ‘health hazards’ in relation to ‘drug usage’, so the media says.

Although I do not think that the entire day-3 of Ezoo should have been canceled for thousands of fans, my own disappointment pales in comparison to the true issues regarding these circumstances.

On Sunday I went through a wide array of emotions. I woke up with excitement which was quickly replaced with a sick sensation in the pit of my stomach. At first, I was angry that the poor decisions of few cost the festival for all. But then I was overcome with a deep feeling of sadness for the two that passed. And finally, I was disgusted at the comments coming from both my own peers and other strangers, ‘ravers’, on social media.

Victim blaming is not the answer here. Saying someone ‘deserved to die because they took a drug’ is not the answer. Do not call yourself PLUR and then claim that a person deserved to die for a YOLO-influenced mistake that they made.

Our scene is being taken over by the mainstream, and we are well aware of it. We are aware of those that show up in “Where’s Molly” hats and only come to EDM shows in order to consume illicit drugs.  And we don’t like those people, for the bad reputation and images they portray us as. They are there for the wrong reasons. But that does not mean that they ‘deserve to die’.

So this is my call to ravers, to those who go for the music. To those who know that EDM shows can make the soberest of people feel alive, feel high on the beats and drunk off of the bass. To those who go for the peace, the love, the unity, the respect. To those who flock to the dance floor for an hour or two of a judgement-free world. To those who have truly lived in the moment, forgot the pain, misunderstandings, and hardships of the real world by getting lost in the melodies of their favorite songs. This is my call to you.

Have respect. The young man that passed away at Ezoo was a son, the girl was a daughter. They had best friends, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, just like you and I. They made a mistake that could have easily been avoided, and they suffered the ultimate consequence. It’s hard not to blame those who died for the cancelation, saying they don’t know their limits, or made a poor decision, or weren’t there for the right reasons, but keep in mind that was a person, a spirit, a human being. A life that was taken too soon.

Get back to the love. One of the reasons I fell in love with the rave culture was because of the love that engulfed me at every show. People should still be looking out for one another, making sure they are alright, have enough water, are eating or using the bathroom or sitting down if need be. Even if you think this person “is there for the wrong reasons”. If someone looks like they are in true danger, get them help. Do not assume their friends will take care of them. BE their friend. Be their savior.

Stop with the judgement. Listen, I hate the bros that go for the drugs as much as you do. But, maybe instead of hating on them, you could try and show them the reasons you rave. Teach them about your favorite DJ or tell them why you love the scene so much. If they don’t like the music, hopefully they’ll stop going to shows. But fighting someone with PLUR will hopefully change their perspective on things a bit.

And here is my call to society.

Instead of minimizing this incident as merely a ‘drug overdose’ because of some irresponsible decisions, one that could have been avoided if all drugs were avoided at all costs always, maybe we should start educating on drug usage.

The “Drugs Are Bad, Mmmk” tactic is clearly not working. If someone wants to experiment with drugs, they are going to do it. Abstinence is not key- protection is key.

So instead of preaching that drugs are always dangerous and addictive and cause deaths, how about we educate ourselves, our peers, and our children on drug usage in order to allow for ‘safer’ consumption. I am not advocating that illicit drugs are safe- I am arguing that there are ‘safer’ approaches to engage with these drugs.

We need to teach about how these drugs biologically affect the body, what to expect when taking them, how to avoid dehydration or over-hydration, what a lethal dosage is, what not to combine, etc.

And equally important, testing kits need to be made readily available. Why people would ever buy drugs from a stranger is beyond me. You wouldn’t (or shouldn’t) take a drink from a stranger if you didn’t see the bartender pour it would you? That is the first thing we learn in college- how to avoid the roofie-colada.

I mean, your parents checked your candy that your NEIGHBORS gave you on Halloween to make sure you weren’t being poisoned- so why would you ever buy drugs from a stranger at a festival?

However, people do. And therefore they should have a way to test what they buy to make sure it is not something more powerful, addictive, or dangerous than they think.

Education is key. This could have been avoided if the poor girl at Ezoo knew that 6 pills is a dangerous starting amount.

Looking out for one another is key. You could save a life simply by being a helping hand if you notice someone falling ill.

Love is key. Stop the disrespect. Do not blame these two for their mistakes. Do not judge them. Instead, teach others what you know, fill up their water bottle, send them to erowid.org, show them how fun sober shows are- help this be avoided in the future.

It was not the victims’ faults Ezoo was canceled- on a societal level, it was ours.

Kaskade: A Man Who Truly Loves His Job (HQ Beachclub)

Alright. I tried not to do this. I tried to keep this blog general, relatable, humorous, inquisitive or whatever, and not full of reviews of specific events, but it’s now almost been a week and I feel the need to write about the wonder that was June 1.

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Last weekend Kaskade graced Atlantic City with his presence by playing at the Revel’s HQ nightclub on May 31, and then again at the new HQ Beachclub on June 1.

While I was unable to attend his nightclub set, I made sure to find myself a little spot on the dancefloor at the Beachclub to witness for the first time one of my favorite DJs do his thang.

And boy did he do it well.

Behind the DJ booth, Matt Goldman started the party at this Vegas-style club, complete with a pool, bars, views of the Atlantic Ocean, and VIP service if you so choose.

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From the beginning, you could tell that people were there to get down. Dancing was already occurring in the shallow end of the (what I can only assume to be) heated pool, drinks were being served…and spilled… and the music was only getting louder.

As time passed, I soon found my way to my desired spot for the afternoon: right near the front. Usually at shows I stand off to the side or near the back. But not for Kaskade.

As 3 pm approached, you could sense the anticipation in the crowd. We were ready for some Summer Lovin’.

Kaskade began his memorable set with a tease, playing the song Atmosphere before its actual release. Finally seeing Kaskade behind that booth after waiting hours in the hot sun mixed with hearing an amazing new song live made the crowd go wild.

I briefly glanced around behind me to see everyone singing along to the moving lyrics, jumping out of excitement, and smiling widely. There was not a still nor silent person in that crowd.

Kaskade moved along his set by playing some crowd favorites (and/or mash-ups) such as Eyes, Lessons in Love, Turn it Down, Last Chance, 4 a.m.,  and Room for Happiness.

While I was hoping and somewhat expecting to hear some of these songs, what really made the crowd ecstatic was his insertion of multiple genres, including some (but not too much) trap.

Kaskade even incorporated a mix of Zedd’s hit tune Clarity (although playing such an, in my opinion, over-played song shocked me a bit, but I suppose he was trying to appease all members of the crowd by playing something they know.)

Whenever the crowd was starting to slow down or lose energy, Kaskade would change it up in order to bring us right back to our dancing feet! Signs of a great DJ!

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What impressed me the most about Kaskade’s performance was how much you could truly tell he enjoys his job. Not only was he into his music, but he was dancing around, jumping up and down, smiling, interacting with the audience (I swear we shared a moment during Turn it Down), and singing along.

Knowing he enjoyed what he was doing made it that much more enjoyable for us, the crowd.

He even ReTweeted my compliment about it later that night.

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One of the most memorable moments was during No One Knows Who We Are, when everyone’s hands were high to the sky and voices were singing loudly along with the words, including, of course, Kaskade.

There was such a sense of camaraderie and unison among the crowd at that time and space. We were one, living in that moment, brought together by Kaskade’s music. “We are right now”.

As time passed way too quickly, Kaskade left us with the statement, “I think I convinced these guys to let me come back”, and I tell ya, Kaskade, I sure hope you do.

This may have been my first time seeing him, but it will definitely not be my last.

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*Pictures from instagram : @dtam09

*Follow me on Twitter: @Dat_assh

Dear Guys: What not to do at a club

I frequent the club scene. After all, I am a 22 year old single college lady who just wants to dance. A few weeks back I was politely “no thank you”-ing the surrounding gentlemen in order to dance by myself when I was approached by a guy who said, “I think it’s awesome that you come here, don’t want or need a guy, and have so much fun dancing by yourself!” 

Thank you, kind sir for your words of encouragement. His simple words got me thinking, what do guys think girls come here for? What is it about me dancing alone that was worthy of a compliment from a complete stranger? Why is this so unique to see?

When I talk with my girlfriends it becomes pretty plain what we do not want at clubs. And so, out of the kindness of my heart, I figured I would compile a list of what *most* girls do not want to see/do/touch/hear while enjoying herself on that dancefloor so that you, handsy-gentleman, do not get the awkward “no-thank you” followed by giggles from that clique you’ve been eyeing up.

1. Your stranger-male-genitalia rubbing all up on my booty.

Contrary to popular belief, casually showing up behind me introducing yourself with your penis is not the way to my heart. I have to give credit to those guys who actually ask to dance, but if your form of “dancing” is casually showing up behind me introducing yourself with your penis, I will “no thank you” you and continue jumping around waving my arms in the air like I just don’t care.

If you would like to join me in that, feel free-the more the merrier. I just want no part in booty rubbing on your stranger gentleman’s sausage.

2. You to talk over the music.

I am flattered that you want to know so much about me, right here and right now… at this very second, but we are in a night c.l.u.b. Like, what makes you think screaming over the music asking personal questions is a fun time? What makes you think I even want to think about, let alone talk about the real world right now? In fact, I really quite enjoy singing along and dancing to the music. After all, we are in a club. So save the talking for another time… I’ll give you my number and then you can call me, maybe.

3. “Ayo Mamiii, high 5 for wearing those leggins'”

And yes, this is an actual example… One of which I have very few words for…

a) …High 5? Really? That’s how you get a woman?

b) No….Learn how to properly hit on a girl.

c) I am wearing leggings because they are comfortable to dance in. Am I aware that they make any hiney look like a 10? Yes, yes I am. But I am wearing them for my own comfort/laziness, not to be high fived from your approval.

d) MY EYES ARE UP ….AND AROUND AND OVER…HERE!

4. Random hands groping and grasping as I make my way to the bathroom…or bar…or just through the club…

So this type of guy takes the opposite approach of “ayo mamii dat butt” and just goes for it. He just reaches his hand out into the crowd, wiggles it around a bit, and grabs any thing that he thinks is a private female part.

Why do you think that is appropriate? Where in the world would this be appropriate? (Okay, maybe a strip club, I’m not sure- I haven’t had much experience in that scene) but come on…

If this has ever worked for ANYONE out there, PLEASE, I am begging you, let me know. I need to hear your testimony. Because I am almost 100% certain that this type of guy at a club has never had any sort of encounter with the female sex, has no mother/grandmother/sister/aunt and apparently missed out on the whole concept of respect.

5. “I’ll buy you a drink if you dance with me.”

Do I look like I can be bribed? Alright, to be fair I will take the free drink. But as soon as I am done sipping whatever cheap-fruity thing that you assume I like, I am booking. Does that seem rude? Yes, yes it does. But you know what else seems odd- thinking that you can buy time to rub your peepee on my booty simply by purchasing a two dollar cranberry vodka.

 

 

So there ya have it. Of course I am speaking solely from my own cynical-female-views, and there are ladies out there would love nothing more than to shake their glutes against all angles of your thighs for a free drink, loving the cheap compliments you are screaming to them over the music, but I’d like to think that I can speak for at least part of the female population in saying: No thank you. 

 

*Disclaimer, I know not all guys are this forward/gross/disrespectful at clubs. These are just the few stereotypes that need to be addressed. 

 

Express Yourself: Tutus in a Sea of Cocktail Dresses

On January 20th I celebrated my dream birthday: seeing one of my favorite DJs (Diplo) in a freakin’ crazy city (Atlantic City) with two of my best friends from college.

After listening to middle school tunes such as Misery Business and LG FUAD during the car ride, passing out for a nap immediately upon arrival in a huge party city, my vegetarian friend accidentally ordering a burger for dinner, and losing $5 in the slot machines, we were ready to rave.

On goes the tutus, LED accessories, and kandi (handmade bracelets traded in order to represent a specific event, moment, connection, person, etc)

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(^my collection)

Little did I know, and despite the other rave-esque shows I have attended in AC, “rave gear” is not usually permitted in the Borgata

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And so we roll up covered in neon and beads, are some how let into the Mixx night club, and instantly realize how out of place we look (even though we were some of the first people there…that’s a sign….)

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Hey, at least we matched the staff in their fluffies & booty shorts.

The crowd continued to arrive in their cute cocktail dresses and heels as we danced about with the sway of our tutus. We met a few awesome girls in the bathroom (there ya go boys, that’s what we really do in there- meet new friends) and a group of people who were so excited it was my birthday that they screamed “HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY!” to me any time we crossed paths throughout the entire night…which was a lot… I didn’t hate it.

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It was one of the most unique raving experiences I’ve ever had, and I’m so glad I was able to have such an experience. There were no light gloves or crazy outfits (aside from ours, I suppose) that I am so used to seeing, but every one was still all there for the same reason: the music.

I received numerous hugs from strangers wishing me a happy birthday,  gave away an entire arm’s-worth of kandi to those who were interested, explaining the meaning if they didn’t know, and was able to join in screaming my lungs out and dancing my worries away with a group full of diverse people united by music.

One of the girls that I met, after I traded her a special piece of kandi that I made, had no kandi to trade back, so she literally took one of her regular bracelets off of her arm and insisted that I take it. It was such an amazing gesture-I almost cried.

I had some interesting conversations such as the guy who claimed raves are only fun if on Molly and when I told him I disagreed-I’ve gone sober, he apologized and said he would take away the stereotype (thanks for further imbedding that negative stigma into the culture, sir) , or the guy who said “I’m surprised they let you in like that” and when I wasn’t sure if I should be offended or not, he continued “but I’m glad they did. Your outfits are awesome!”.

I also had some interesting encounters such as the older man who kept trying to dance with each of my friends by casually showing up behind us even after we consistently said “No thank you”. If you are not my boyfriend, and you’re not because I’m single, then I do NOT want to grind with you at a rave. Sorry sirs.

But the absolute best moment of the entire night: Diplo played a BIRTHDAY mix, and despite the fact that I met others who were celebrating their birthdays that night, and birthdays are pretty common things- I took his mix very, very personally (after all, I have been tweeting to him about January 20th for weeks now…) And when it came on, the awesome people who were near me all surrounded me, pointed to me, and serenaded me.

Like. What. What an AMAZING present! I had half a rave sing a birthday mix at a DIPLO show to me!

So, I have to admit that it was unique dancing in a tutu among a sea of business-attire and cocktail dresses, but it was an amazing experience because, and i reiterate, we were still all there and united for the same reason: the music. (Oh, and my birthday)

And that’s what it’s all about.

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**Also, if I could only still do a handstand I would have Expressed Myself all over that floor.