5 Things That Bother Me Probably More Than They Should

1. Hashtags on Facebook. Let me give you a little insight as to why hashtags work: They create links to the other people who also hashtagged the same hashtag that you hashtagged….on TWITTER…or Instagram, even. However, Facebook does not use this technology and therefore you just look like an idiot when you #hashtag #everything #in #your #Facebook #Status.

which brings me to my next annoyance….

2. Incorrect Usage of Hashtags…on Facebook. Clearly you already don’t understand the way hashtags work if you are using them on Facebook, so I really shouldn’t hold your ignorance against you, but if you’re going to use hashtags, you should probably be aware that this would be an incorrect usage:

“Zomg FB Friends, I had THEE most amaziiingg burger earlier which I will most definitely instagram later because I know you all want to see it but my hashtags probably won’t work there because I don’t know how to use them #Best Burger Ever.”

The word you linked there…was “#Best”. Just Best. If you ever want to migrate over to the world where hashtags are socially acceptable (i.e. not Facebook), and you were curious as to who else thought they were having the best burger ever, you should be aware that spaces will ruin your linking. Therefore instead of saying #Best Burger Ever, you should say #BestBurgerEver .

It’s not a middle school dance, you don’t need to leave room for Jesus in between your words when hashtagging.

3. You’re/Your/They’re/Their/There.  I know this is a big topic of controversy in the grammar-world and that it is brought up quite often on social media sites. AKA some people think it’s an easy enough mistake and not something to worry about annnnd then there are people such as myself that say…no. Just, no. They have completely different meanings.

Would you write “Hey, can you get me I scream?” instead of “ice cream” just because they sound the same? No. Why not? Because you would look like a moron and/or your intended meaning would be completely skewed. So learn the difference between you’re and your, and they’re, their, and there.

What makes me the most ecstatic is when people mess up these simple words inconsistently: “Their are people over they’re and there going with they’re friends over to there.”

Like, if you’re going to mess them up, at least be consistent with the mistakes….

**We all are allowed to make these mistakes every once in awhile. We’re human. I understand, but come on. Some people, native-English speakers, just really don’t know the differences. And letting people incorrectly use these words over and over and over again is just a sign of our laziness and apathy.

4. “I axed him where the liberry is”

You axed him? Should I call the authorities and put a warrant out for your arrest? And what exactly is a liberry? Is that a nice cross-breed between the lime and the strawberry? That sounds delicious!

5. *Sitting down enjoying the movie in a public theater, quiet/sad/romantic/moving scene comes onto screen, I’m really into it, and BOOM “I’M A REDNECK WOMAN, I AIN’T NO HIGH CLASS BROAD” starts blaring from the woman’s purse down the aisle from me*

Thank you, lady. Thank you for ruining even just 30 seconds of my over-priced movie ticket. Did you not see the FIFTEEN advertisements during the previews to turn off your cellphone? Were they not clear enough for you? Were you so positive of your lack of popularity that no one would call you during the movie?

I would like to sum this up with an endearing message I wish I would have left for the lady I had the unpleasant experience of sharing a theater with this afternoon:

“Dear Lady who took 10 minutes deciding on which popcorn size to buy as I patiently waited in line behind you, I really loved it when your phone went off during the last song in Les Mis. No, no, please take all the time you need bending over and fumbling through your purse in order to turn it off. Your generic ringtone definitely adds something unique and appreciated to the soundtrack.”


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